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Thanks for stopping by! My name is Suzan Mayumi Turner. I'm a happy stay at home (expat) mom who does photography and theatre every time I get a chance. Here you'll find some glimpses of my life (now in Spain), my art, and my work. Feel free to drop me a line or two. I'd love to hear from you and make new friends!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Discovering Parenthood

Nicholas threw his first tantrum last night. It seems yesterday he was this little fragile baby. Now he is this cute boy with a sweet smile that can win your heart in a second, however if he gets frustrated, that sweet smile goes away and what you get is only yelling and screaming that you can't believe that is the same child.

My hubby was very surprised with his behavior but I wasn't cause I knew soon or later tantrum would give us a visit as does to every parents house. That's what babies/toddlers do. They are learning to express their feelings and since they don't have the language yet to communicate they use what they know best: crying;  however, it's our responsibility to teach him he can't throw tantrums to get what he wants. It's not acceptable. So we let him cry. He cried and screamed until he got tired and calmed him self down. Keith and I were very firm, "we'll not give in", but our hearts were aching. It hurt to watch it (since we're in a hotel, there is no other room to go) but we knew it was for his best. Then, after he got quiet, we went to pick him up... when he saw us, he started crying again. Keith gave him a bottle and we both talked to him, in a firm but calm voice explaining why we didn't pick him up before and that behavior was a "no no". It's interesting when we were talking he was calm and listening but when we were saying, "no you can't behave like that sweety", he would let a little cry as if he knew what he did was wrong. Then, we prayed with him, gave him a kiss, and put him into his crib. He slept with no complaints.

We don't know for sure if he understood what we did. I sure hope so. We'll probably have more situations like this until he fully understands that "Mom and Dad won't let me do or have what I want (if it's wrong) even if I throw a fit, but they still love me."

We don't know all the answers and how to deal with every problem we face as parents. But we choose to say no even if hurts him and us for his own good, with hope we're raising a healthy physically, spiritually, and emotionally boy to become one day a great man. Wow, what a wonderful and yet challenging job we have! I think that's what parenthood is all about.

3 comments:

  1. Oh, we remember those days :-)

    How neat it is to read how you are trying to handle the meltdowns with patience, wisdom, and love. Keep up the good work!

    And the picture? Beautiful...

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  2. Ditto on the picture, what a great shot. Sounds like you guys are doing a great job, hard as it is to watch our babies discover their "will"...boundaries and limits are the best thing that parents can provide...it comes hard for me sometimes (glad Rufino is around to remind me!!)

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  3. Thanks guys! Every day we learn something new about being a parent: patience, boundaries, love, more patience, and more love :)

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